Many men who embark on a journey to overcome their ejaculative tendencies are stopped in their tracks by the fear of blue balls. Testicular pain.

When I was in the season of my life where I was trying to see how long I could go without succumbing to porn and masturbation, what would sometimes do me in was a fear of blue balls. The fear told me that I’d permanently damage my testicles if I didn’t release periodically.

There is even expert guidance within the world of male sexual prowess that recommends that men don’t go without ejaculation for too long. Mantak Chia of Taoist Sexuality has a chart that shows how long is too long depending upon the age of the man.

I remember seeing that chart for the first time and thinking—what an arbitrary categorization of humans based on linear age!

Sure, linear age can have certain correlations to physical capacity, but at best this is a good back-of-the-envelope recommendation, no? Surely this can’t be precise? I was already at a stage of life where I was noticing the flaws in the notion of expert recommendations in the domain of physical health, given how unhealthy so many of these experts with PhDs appeared! I’d remind myself time and again that lobotomy was also an expert recommendation in a certain era and the guy who came up with the practice had been awarded a Nobel Prize in Medicine. Never forget.

I compared the chart with the myths of Shiva, who is known to have ejaculated thrice.

It is important here to understand what a Myth is.

Previously, I thought of myths as stories. And I thought of stories as things that did not actually happen. And I had a very constrained view of what qualifies as having actually happened. Back then, I lived a life constrained by Material Realism—a belief that only matter is real.

Now I know that Myths are Stories. Alive, in their own way. Every now and then, they come through to a human who is moved to share them. Why are certain humans drawn to certain Myths? The journey of answering that question is the crux of a human’s spiritual work.

These Stories are of mythical beings. Alive, in their own way. When you and I typically think of the word “alive”, we are conditioned to look for material signs of aliveness. Is the breath moving the body? No? Then it is dead.

That conditioning leaves us blind to the aliveness of the trees. We are susceptible to incomplete causal ideas like “the wind moves the trees”. When we root ourselves in Material Realism, we are spiritually blinded.

When we are spiritually blinded, we are susceptible to identifying ourselves with the thoughts and desires of disembodied spirits—leading to cycles of resentment, addiction, anxiety, obsession and so on.

But the Truth is that Spirit Beings exist. Reality isn’t purely material. Spirits can be communicated with. Some of the more powerful Spirits live on through their Stories, which did actually happen. Perhaps not entirely in the material plane! But now that our sense of reality is not constrained to matter, we can acknowledge that these Stories are real.

When I see another being achieve something, and I believe it is real, it naturally opens up a space of Wonder inside me. Can I do this too? Does that happen with you too?

So I set out to mimic the story of Shiva. To never release. To trust that my physical body has that capacity as did his. With Grace for myself if I slipped.

And in that journey, I realized that what I thought of as blue balls was often due to a tight psoas!

If you’ve never heard of this muscle called psoas, your life is going to absolutely change.

Psoas is a muscle deep behind your abdomen.

It links up to the diaphragm beneath your lungs. Tom Myers of Anatomy Trains sees a cobra in how the diaphragm, the psoas and the iliacus link up and considers this muscle group crucial for core activation.

Here it is crucial to note that, on account of how anatomy is taught from within the presently reductive Scientific model of the human body, many of us are conditioned to think of each muscle as separate from the others. There are even silly questions of the multiple-choice types that will ask high school kids how many muscles there are in the human body and reward some arbitrary numerical answer with good grades, thereby reinforcing this reductive paradigm.

Muscles are not separate like that. They are chained up!

And thankfully due to the renewed emphasis on the fascia within bodywork and physical healing community, we are beginning to step beyond this reductive way of looking at the human body.

So the provocation I want to offer you is that your blue balls might be due to a tight psoas! And that if you just incorporate psoas release, as a regular routine or in response to feeling testicular pain, you may never need to masturbate or ejaculate as a part of your lifestyle!

How freeing is that!
It was incredibly freeing for me!

There is this very simple tool called the Hip Hook which you can buy from Amazon. Or you could just grab a small dumbbell and just lie down on top of it.

Initially you might feel the kind of resistance that each of us feels to pain. But if you place yourself properly and just relax and breathe into the pain of the psoas, you may experience a trigger point release. I notice increased blood flow down my glutes when I do this.

If you research psoas release work more, you’ll see how often a tight psoas is the root cause of lower back pain, sciatica and similar other chronic pain disorders. I won’t get into all of that in this essay.

For over a year now—perhaps more—I have gone without masturbation or ejaculation being a part of my life routine. Much longer than what the chart above prescribes. I have ejaculated during sex a handful of times something that I track now as a part of sexual athleticism. Sometimes I will find discharge in the form of nightfall. I treat that as the body materially releasing what needs to be released without any yanking input from me. And now that I have broken through from the joy—there was a tiny miniscule joy to it for sure—of ejaculative release into the even greater joy of marathonic sexual pleasure, I have no impulse anymore to masturbate. When I am not partnered, I get the same kind of joy by yanking the muscle chains that lead into my pelvis by lifting heavy weights in the gym. Just that the muscle chains I yank now are much bigger muscle chains than the ones I used to yank on my cock.

Are there masturbatory techniques that are pleasurable minus the ejaculation that I haven’t explored? Perhaps? I’m not sure.

If the cock is not viewed separately from the rest of the body, then the holistic version of masturbation is just a body oil massage.

I will periodically oil massage my entire body and in that also do a basic lingam massage—nothing too complicated about it, just use oil to massage your cock like it was any other muscle group. Pull it in different directions. Make gentle steady strokes along the front and the back. Hold the testicles and rub oil into them. Pull them away from the cock. There was a season in my life before I tapped into marathonic sexual capacities, where I was doing this on the daily—as is recommended in the Ayurvedic dinacharya. It is one of the most sensual activities a man can do for himself.

Get an oil warmer.

Use a nice oil—organic coconut oil works.
Warm up some of it at dawn after you wake up.

Put a few drops of essential oil in it. I like lavender.

After it is sufficiently warmed up, while you are still in the dark of the dawn, lift up the bowl, look up to it and tip it.

Let the oil drip from a height onto the center of your chest. Your heart chakra.

And then be with it.

Be with the sensation of the oil dripping down the front of your body towards your cock.

Let it take its time. It will take its time.

Single point your attention on the drop that is at the front of the stream. And tap into how utterly delicious it feels.

A singular warm drop of lubrication gently flowing down leaving a stream behind, from heart to cock.

Tuning in thusly, a man increases his attunement to the sensual nature of his own body. How sensitive his body is becomes evident to him.

Then he may realize how sensitive a woman’s body is. And that invites pause and presence in how he touches a woman. Because in that moment where his attention is chasing the sensuality of the oil stream dripping down his front, his attention is getting used to the pleasure of slowing down.

Then catch the drop before it drips off the tip of your cock onto the ground. Cup your genitals as you catch the oil and gently start massaging.

Move your hands on your genitals.
Move your hands on your torso.
Know that they are not separate.

Try out different strokes. Try out different levels of firmness. See what you like. Then do the same for your cock.

In Sanskrit, the word for oil is the same as the word for love—sneha.

Oil brings clarity to the sensory nature of the pores of your skin.

In Indian martial arts, whether it be Kalaripayattu of the South or the Wrestling akharas of the North, it is common practice for martial artists to oil themselves before training.

Oil awakens with great love—the eyes of your skin. Then you see not only from the two eyes up front but from a thousand eyes all over your body, just like the Lord Indra did.

Lord Indra was the horny Indian deity of thunder, just like Zeus from the Greeks and Yahweh from the Israelites.

Lord Indra was the King of gods. Technically, Indra is a position, not a particular being. And a variety of beings have fulfilled the role of Indra.

One of these beings was a particularly horny chap. Being ethereal and thereby blessed with many spiritual powers, he would often misuse those to trap the wives of humans into sexual embraces.

One such wife was the wife of the Rishi—great Seer—Gautama. While the Rishi Gautama was out and about, Indra changed his appearance to look like Gautama and showed up at the hut where his wife Ahalya was going about her business.

Ahalya and Indra then proceeded to have sex. It is debatable how much Ahalya knew about who he truly was. Marriage can be so constraining at times, no? Especially with a Rishi, I imagine, who whimsically decides when he wants to cultivate his celibacy for his inner work and when he wants to explore sexual play. But perhaps I digress and project.

Anywho, Gautama came back and was incensed.

Gautama cursed Indra.

Boy, you are so obsessed with pussy, eh? Why don’t I cover you with a thousand of those so you never have to go anywhere to get some?

Instantly, Indra was covered with a thousand yonis.

Indra was aghast.

Like every horny little boy, he wanted to keep his pussy obsession secret and not be so evidently visible, both to himself and others.

Here was the King of gods!
The Lord demanded respect and sent down thunder when people didn’t respect him! Not unlike Yahweh.

Now the Lord was covered in pussies! Oh the tragedy!

Fact is stranger than fiction. The strangest of fictions are, thereby, facts.

He repented. All the gods prayed for him till the Grace of the Heavenly Father came down and Brahma was moved to transform the yonis into eyes.

Now Indra became the thousand-eyed one—Sahasrākṣa.

Intriguing how similar eyes and yonis look no? I had not made that connection before this myth.

A good martial artist is thousand-eyed. He is able to tell the movement of an enemy from behind his shoulder without needing to see the enemy.

I believe—or rather the very alive Myth of Indra and the Thousand Yonis, as it moves through me, relays—that Brahma actually asked Indra to practice body oiling like the martial traditions recommend.

To tenderly attend to every pore of his skin as if it was the yoni of his Beloved.
To connect to the subtle nature of the sensual physical body, which can see from every pore of the skin like how Yonis oracle.

With sufficient oiling, the inherently oracular nature of the Yonis on his body came through—just like how a Woman’s intuitive nature blossoms when her pussy is well tended to—and Indra became the Thousand-Eyed One.

The lust-driven horny little boy becomes an accomplished martial artist.
(Now we are definitely projecting. Or perhaps the Myth itself resonates so deeply because it lives in my subconscious, so there is not much I can do but project?)

So, my brother, oil your body.

Treat every pore of your skin with the tender firmness that you might and should bring to the Yoni of your Beloved.

Your body will teach you how the body of your Beloved desires to be touched.

As you massage your cock and testicles, and stroke up and down your torso onto them and back again, your body will develop fluid lubricated energetic pathways between the pelvis and the rest of your torso. Once these pathways are developed, energy can’t be stuck in your pelvis necessitating masturbatory release.

As you embark on a Shaivic commitment to never ejaculate, you may feel your balls blueing up.

When that happens, just lie down on a hip hook till the cobra inside your psoas quietens and blood flows freely out of the pelvis and down into your glutes and legs, and up your spine.

To support the steady circulation of stuck pelvic energy, practice placing the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth.

With sufficient practice, your jaw will heal and become squarer like the boys in the looksmaxxing world have discovered. What the looksmaxxers call mewing is what the yogis call nabho mudra.

The attractiveness of your jawline will signal to a potential mate that your microcosmic circuits are closed, and thereby you are better able to move energy around when you are inside her, rather than have it be accumulated in your pelvis.

When you are inside your woman, and the energy is rushing down—apana—you’ll remember the sensual delight of slowly tracking that drop of oil coursing down the front of your torso from the heart where it first landed towards your cock.

Remembering that slow sensual delight, there is no hesitation to slow down in your strokes. Confidently, you shall say “No” to the lying lust demons who tell you that you will lose her if you slow down.

And then with your next inhale, you shall breathe the rushing energy up—prana—and feel your back be lit up with Testosteronic Fire.

The Holiest of Spirits surging through you.

Bringing the woman back up with you as she shudders in the cycling of Eros in your connection joining the two of you in the Holiest of Matrimonies.

Holier than a fat priest officiating with a piece of paper that a couple hold in high regard even as the lack of physical intimacy in their so-called marriage withers both their bodies away.

Above, I have included a clip of my Instagram rendition of this essay where I describe Testosteronic Fire. I wonder, if you, my brother, believed for a moment that it is possible to communicate spirit beyonds words through the digital medium, if you would then fully feel what I’m referring to when I describe Testosteronic Fire. Because I do believe it is very natural for all men.

The very natural state of a Man is full erotic completeness, surging with Testosteronic Fire that laps up every now and then incinerating all demons in himself and those around him.

In closing—

I pray that any man reading this becomes an absolutely phenomenal lover.
You deserve that. Every woman that you meet deserves that.

I claim: the Kingdom of Heaven is filled with men who are absolutely phenomenal lovers.

They don’t need to have sex, but when they are roused into erotic play, they are absolutely phenomenal at it.

Do you disagree?

If they do have sex:

Don’t let the above poll be used as fodder for Shame, but instead be fodder for Inspiration. Shame, be rebuked.

I think the men in the Kingdom of Heaven are leading purposeful lives and then good-dicking their women when the pussies are dripping wet.

I’ll admit that it is possible that there is no sex in the Kingdom of Heaven, but if there is, I think it is absolutely phenomenal.

In Jesus’ name, I ask the Heavenly Father to coat and cover the bodies and cocks of all men reading this with the abundant Grace that has been offered through the crucifixion and overflowing blood of Christ, so that their psoas be fully released, their balls never blue up and they may become absolutely phenomenal lovers to bring forth Heaven on Earth.

Amen.