Denial and the Addict’s Mind

Denial. That’s where it begins. Denial of the truly harmful impact of porn—on the bodies that create it and on the bodies that consume it. I lived in that denial for years.

It fits perfectly in the pattern of addiction. An addict almost always denies the real impact of what they’re consuming. And to maintain that denial, the mind builds complex yet incomplete intellectual justifications. Complex enough that you don’t see the incoherence in it. The mind needs reasons to feel okay about what it’s doing, so it concocts it. But those reasons don’t hold up under real scrutiny—they crumble when looked at closely.

Men say things like, “It’s not hurting anyone,” “I don’t do it much,” “It’s self-pleasure,” “It’s consensual,” “My wife knows.” But those arguments are incomplete because they try to rationalize something that operates in a mysterious domain—energetic, emotional, spiritual.

Denial is the first tool of addiction. It protects us from pain and shame. And one of its cornerstones, especially around porn, is the idea that sex is a need.

The Lie of Need

It amazes me how long I believed that, even while following spiritual traditions that clearly contradicted it. I was studying Buddhism—the Buddha’s path—and it’s a celibate path. They don’t have sex. So how could I believe both that sex was a human need and that the Buddha’s life was possible?

If sex were truly a need, it would be impossible to live without it. Nobody can live without water, but people live without sex all the time. There are countless examples of men and women living vibrant, celibate lives.

So it’s not that sex is a need. It’s that people conflate another need for sex. What they do need is release from the oppression of lust demons.

Now, that might sound strange if you’ve grown up inside a materialist paradigm that denies the reality of spirit. But if you’ve ever noticed yourself constantly distracted by thoughts that don’t feel like yours, you have already experienced oppression from demonic entities. These entities hijack your awareness. They generate desire, then convince you that the desire is yours, just so that they can experience the fleeting thrill of embodied pleasure through you.

The “need” you feel is not for sex—it’s a need for freedom from those demonic attachments. Lust convinces you that the only way out is through indulgence. And once you believe that, you become its servant.

The Intentional Release of Lust

But there’s another way. When arousal arises, you can recognize it as a moment where these forces are trying to hook you—an invitation into unconsciousness. Instead of reacting automatically, you can bring awareness to the sensation itself. Notice the impulse, name it, and set an intention to release the specific entities or attachments that may be surfacing through that desire.

Even if you end up masturbating, the act can become something entirely different when it’s done with that awareness. You’re not indulging the lust; you’re consciously moving energy that’s been tangled in your system.

This isn’t a new idea. So much of tantra and Taoist sexual alchemy is built around the understanding that orgasmic energy has immense creative power. What you do with that energy matters. If your intention is release and purification, then the same act that once bound you can actually free you. You can use the moment of orgasm to dissolve the specific hooks or

energetic cords that keep pulling you back—to a person, a memory, a pornographic image.

In that sense, even masturbation can become an act of liberation rather than indulgence—a ritual of reclaiming your life force. Look within and just say, “Okay, we’ll do this just this one time, and then we’re done with her,” before you get down to the act.

Energetic Laws in Everyday Life

What’s fascinating to me is that the best validation I’ve ever found for these energetic or spiritual principles doesn’t come from scripture or philosophy—it comes from subtle relational dynamics you can actually observe in the world. When you start paying attention, you see the same energetic patterns playing out between people everywhere.

You see this same pattern in modern hookup culture. Sometimes two people have strong chemistry but decide not to pursue a relationship. They hook up once to “get it out of their system.” Energetically, what’s happening is that the entity latched onto their erotic connection is being released through that single encounter. Because they set the intention to “get it out of their system”. Hook up once and be done.

You can work with this awareness yourself. If there are certain porn actresses you return to repeatedly, track that. There’s an energetic relationship there.

Try something counterintuitive: stop chasing novelty. Be faithful to the handful you already feel entangled with. That single shift brings direction into a part of life that’s usually scattered. And that matters, because the masculine polarity thrives on focus.

You can even see this in the anatomy. The phallus itself is shaped like a cannon—straight, forward-pointing, powered by the two testicles that generate the charge. When a man ejaculates inside a woman, the sperm races in with pure focus, each cell carrying a singular mission: to reach and fertilize one egg. The masculine current is designed to move with clarity and direction.

You can practice that same directedness in your sexual energy. Set an intention before release—to dissolve the specific hook that keeps drawing you back. Use that same creative power to free yourself. The same principle applies to ex-lovers or anyone you still feel energetically tangled with.

If you’re a man who struggles with lust, you know what I mean when I say you get hooked. You’re living your life—maybe you’re walking down the street, or watching a movie, or just flipping through your phone—and suddenly an image, a scene, or a woman catches your eye. It could be a stranger at the grocery store, a character in a film, the weather lady on TV, or a photo someone forwards in a group chat. Your body reacts before your mind even registers it. Your arousal attaches to that point of contact.

That’s the entry point. That’s how it happens. These small, almost invisible moments are where the hook forms. The lust demons gain entry.

Over time, those hooks build up until the tension feels unbearable, and you believe you “need sex.” But if you said no at the first hook, the buildup would never happen. You’d never reach that point of desperation.

Imagine that kind of freedom. Oh my Lord! Praise the Lord! It’s one of the greatest freedoms you can experience—freedom from lust demons. To walk through the world without that constant pull on your attention, without those invisible hooks dragging at your energy, without that noise in your head telling you you need something—you realize how much space opens up inside you. It’s peace. It’s power.

The Peace beyond Lust

And that doesn’t mean you stop appreciating beauty. You can appreciate it without getting pulled into it. You can engage women in the real world rather than maintaining hidden energetic bonds through fantasy. Women notice it too when your attention is unhookable. She feels safe in your presence because you’re not trying to take anything from her. She’s freed from the lust demons that are trying to hook you through her—and she likes that freedom, and she likes you for it.

Back when I was still deep in habitual masturbation, I hadn’t learned this yet. I used to release to porn or to memories of ex-lovers. Eventually, I started to sense how off that felt. At that stage, I had stopped watching porn but still found myself turning toward those memories every week or two. One day, I really wanted to release my connection to an ex, and I looked within and said to myself, “This is it. This is the last time we’ll be masturbating to a memory of her.”

It worked. I tried it again with two other ex-lovers, and it worked there too. The energetic tie dissolved. I could feel the peace after. I still carry some shame about admitting that I once masturbated to memories of women I loved. It’s such a vulnerable thing to name, but this whole territory is vulnerable. And yet, it does work—and I want you, my brother, to know that kind of erotic freedom, to taste what it’s like to live unhooked on a day-to-day basis.

I do continue to repent for the ways I’ve oriented toward women through lust—both in those moments and many others throughout my life—and I pray that God forgives me for it.

What Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount inspires me deeply now: If you look at a woman with lust, you’ve already committed adultery with her in your heart. This wasn’t intended to moralize you. He was speaking truths about the energetic plane. The real adultery happens there. And then he says it’s better to lose an eye than to live enslaved by lust, because the suffering that follows—what he calls hellfire—is worse.

You don’t have to be Christian to understand the wisdom in that. If you’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, addiction, purposelessness, or sexual dysfunction, consider that how you respond in the moment when lust hooks you might ripple through your entire being.

You may not see the cause and effect clearly because karma is complex. But Jesus was pointing toward the same truth: our actions shape our future states.

Try this for yourself. The next time you feel pulled toward porn, set an intention to release the entanglement with the person you’re drawn to, before engaging in the act of sexual release. See what shifts. Work towards monogamy in your porn consumption till you release all hooks.

Freed fully from the lust demons that oppress you, ready to live a life that glorifies God.