Stillness & Flow are the two essential polar ways of being. Stillness is deified in Shiva, the divine Masculine. Flow is deified in Shakti, the divine Feminine.

In spirituality, you have the right-hand paths and the left-hand paths. The right-hand masculine paths emphasize cultivation of Stillness. The left-hand feminine paths emphasize becoming one with the Flow.

In ultimate Stillness, one feels and lets go of all that arises, thereby becoming the Flow.

In ultimate Flow, one slows down to be and move with every moment so as to become Still.

Tantra is a left-handed path as contrasted with Dhamma Vipassana which is right-handed. Neo-tantra is a set of practices nurtured in the West, borrowing philosophically from Hindu Tantra, that allow one to cultivate relational presence.

Relational presence is the ability to be present in relationship to an Other. Relational presence necessitates an attunement to Flow. When I am alone, I can notice my breath and attune to stillness to cultivate individual presence. When I relate to an Other, if I go too far inwards to connect with my Self, I might disconnect from them. Relational presence requires simultaneous attunement to Self and Other. Whenever there are two, a flow begins between the polarities present in the two. You may have moments of stillness. But the essence of the connection between the two is a flow. Energy flowing between the polarities. Polarities changing dynamically.

How do I stay with the Other without losing connection to my Self? How do I stay connected to my Self without disconnecting from the Other?

Relational presence is the answer to codependencies.

The essential individual Flow practice is Dance.

The body is Feminine. When left to her own accord, the body connects to the flow of energy all around. The breeze. The swaying trees. The waxing and waning moon. The ocean waves. And the body dances. If there is music, even better!

Dance pleases the Goddess. Dance shakes up trauma-held stiffness in the body. Dance changes the relationship of the body to the held trauma. Brings more ease. More flow.

In Marathi, my mother tongue, when someone dances ecstatically, we say “अंगात देवी चढली”. “The Goddess has entered the Body”.

The essential individual neo-tantric practice is ecstatic dance.

Dance freely. Dance while letting go of judgments. Dance like no one’s watching. Dance like everyone’s watching. Dance with closed eyes. Dance with open eyes filled with wonder. Dance. Dance. Dance.

Dance with an Other.

Lead. Follow. Connect. Let go. Notice the abandonment triggers. Notice the fears. What moves in you in the first moment you make contact? What moves after the last moment of contact? How can you stay connected to the Other while moving freely as an individual? How can you create space for self expression without needing to stifle or control the Other? How do we find our flow together? How do we sense when our time has come to an end? How do we let go?

All of this and more are explored in the body in Contact Improv — a free form partnered dance. The answers arise embodied. Once embodied, Wisdom stays forever. The mind forgets. The body remembers.

Contact Improv is the essence of embodied relational presence practices. Contact Improv is real neo-Tantra. All else is theatrics.

Image taken from https://www.movementmeetslife.com/en/contact-improvisation