May 12, 2023

We are born to forgive.
In forgiving, we are forgiven.

Forgiveness is a most beautiful gift offered from an overflowing heart. Received with deep gratitude.

Forgiveness cannot be rushed. It arises on its own time. With grace.

Of course, there are parts within that would rather avenge. Pound for pound to those who wronged us. These parts don’t see very well. Because they are blinded by Rage.

As much as the jaw clenches down and traps Rage in the hips, at some point it breaks through. It then floods up & distorts our clear perception.

The art of containing that fire while maintaining clarity of perception is martial art. Before Rage is untethered and martial artistry is cultivated, forgiveness is a farce. Born out of fear. A lie.

Truth cannot be born from fear.

Can a man forgive before he tames Rage?
Can he tame Rage if he hasn’t connected with it?

To tame Rage is to accept it. To allow for ephemeral desires for vengeance and let them pass even as you are about to pull the trigger.

To accept Rage is to see it clearly.
To be able to distance the elemental Fire from the stories associated with it.

To become comfortable with the fiery flames lapping inside me. The lava that surges through my veins. The heat behind the ears. So luscious.

To know that in the moments where I burn, I am connecting to something greater than me & my person’s desire for vengeance.

To allow that something greater to flow in the channel of my body. Such a luscious flow. The moment I disconnect from the agony inducing wondering of what to do with all the Fire, I can finally relax in the warmth of it.

Through that, I find gratitude that the Divine Flows of Destruction have chosen my body as a channel to surge through and experience physical being.

Once I let the flow flow, I can gently request it to move aside.
Just a little bit.

With arms spread like the wings of Isis, I ask all the roaring lions to make space.
Just a little bit.

Then I see the Grief.
The bent over child, weeping.

Scared by a troop of roaring lions pretending to protect him.

The still tenderness of Grief wrapped under blankets of Rage.

Oh! The joy! The relief!

The relief of finally seeing the Grief! To finally be seen grieving!

Through all the distracting flapping flames.

See the Grief and sit with it. Hold it in the loving, cradling arms of the Goddess Mother. Hold it in my own loving, cradling arms.

In that moment, where I see through the Rage to the Grief underneath, the seed of Forgiveness is watered.

In a moment, where I can’t see through the Rage to the Grief underneath, I fall prey to the lie of the roaring lions and perpetrate Abuse.

And I’m born again.
Another opportunity to forgive. So I can be forgiven.