Circling is a form of “relational meditation” practice. In this document, I’ll present what circling is by first describing what an individual meditation practice often looks like, how that same notion can be applied while relating to another, and then describe what Circling is.

Individual meditation

A common theme in breath-based meditation practices is to notice feelings, sensations, thoughts and letting them go, thereby building a felt understanding of the impermanence of everything. These practices were invented by people who lived an ascetic life. As useful as these practices are to build serenity in one’s way of being, I’ve personally experienced a tendency to withdraw inwards to notice what’s present and let it go when I’m triggered by an engagement with another human being. That doesn’t serve the connection with the other human because in that withdrawal inwards, I back away from what connects me to them.

Relational meditation

“Relational meditation” is a term I use to describe practices that allow one to be present in relation to another human being. This can be contrasted with “individual meditation” practices like Vipassana, Aana-paana, body scan meditations, yoga, etc, which are meant to be done routinely in a manner where the focus of the attention is on one-self. To cultivate connection with another human being, the attention needs to be balanced between self and the other by opening up the heart.

Esoteric branches of Buddhism like Vajrayana Buddhism have developed practices to deepen relational meditation practices.

Circling

Circling is a form of relational meditation practice that involves groups of 4-5 people conversing. It’s designed to be directly accessible to everyone. The practice involves a shared intention to notice what’s present in one self and share that with the other (as contrasted with “letting it go” in an individual meditation). The other does the same.

I practice Circling on https://www.authrev.org/connect. Below I’ll present some of the intentions that people are asked to practice on the platform when they “circle”.

AuthRev Platform Intentions

Own Our Experience Take responsibility for your own feelings rather than blaming others for what you feel. Use “I” statements when relevant to do so. When you’re owning your experience, you communicate your thoughts, feelings, perspectives and opinions in a manner that is unarguably true, and doesn’t assert to know someone else’s experience. Owning your experience does not include using violent or diagnostic language towards other individuals on the platform.

Honor Self Take care of your own physical and emotional needs throughout the duration of this event. Set and honor your own boundaries both internally and verbally. Recognize that you are at choice in each moment during this event, especially around how and what you share. Request confidentiality as desired, even retroactively.

Honor Other Respect others boundaries, and any requests for confidentiality that are made during or after the event. Relate with an awareness of our shared humanity, and the humility to learn from our experiences together.

We also agree to do our best to NOT offer advice, teach, fix, problem solve, heal, coach or therapize each other. Rather, we return again and again to an open curiosity that encourages empathic connection, the weaving of shared reality, and ideally the experience of being deeply seen and gotten by each other.

I love introducing people to Circling and would be happy to be your guide on this journey. If you’d like that, drop me an email at [email protected] and I can help set something up for you!