Around 600 BCE in India, began a spiritual tradition called Śramaṇa, which (in contrast to the rooted Brahminical Vedic religion) consisted of nomadic ascetics who toiled and labored with their bodies for spiritual ascension. Two of the most accomplished in this tradition were Gautama Buddha and Vardhaman Mahavir, the founders of Buddhism and Jainism, which are the two main religions birthed in India in the last 3000 years.

An aspect of this tradition which seems to be lost in the modern forms of both these religions (at least the case in mainstream Buddhism) was that of toiling with one's body. Physically exerting and experimenting in pursuit of greater consciousness. In fact, there is a Buddhist sutta which clearly describes the 32 physical characteristics of the Buddha.

He has well-planted feet.
On the soles of his feet there are thousand-spoked wheels, with rims and hubs, complete in every detail.
He has stretched heels.
He has long fingers.
His hands and feet are tender.
He has serried hands and feet.
The tops of his feet are arched.
His calves are like those of an antelope.
When standing upright and not bending over, the palms of both hands touch the knees.
His private parts are covered in a foreskin.
He is gold colored; his skin has a golden sheen.
He has delicate skin, so delicate that dust and dirt don’t stick to his body.
His hairs grow one per pore.
His hairs stand up; they’re blue-black and curl clockwise.
His body is tall and straight-limbed.
He has bulging muscles in seven places.
His chest is like that of a lion.
He is filled out between the shoulders.
He has the proportional circumference of a banyan tree: the span of his arms equals the height of his body.
His torso is cylindrical.
He has ridged taste buds.
His jaw is like that of a lion.
He has forty teeth.
His teeth are even.
His teeth have no gaps.
His teeth are perfectly white.
He has a large tongue.
He has the voice of Brahmā, like a cuckoo’s call.
His eyes are indigo.
He has eyelashes like a cow’s.
Between his eyebrows there grows a tuft, soft and white like cotton-wool.
The crown of his head is like a turban.
These are the thirty-two marks of a great man. A great man who possesses these has only two possible destinies, no other.
(From the Dīghanikāya, verse 30)

Read that description again.

The Buddha wasn't a fat-ass laughing Chinese Buddha.

Nor was he the slim, emaciated variant depicted in India, Thailand or Sri Lanka.

The Buddha was fucking ripped. And toned. But not tight like the bodybuilders.

Read the line again about his arms. They were so long that his palms could touch his knees while standing without bending!

This specific trait "Ajanubahu" is shared by other accomplished spiritual practitioners and deities in Hinduism/Jainism.

From a somatic perspective, it represents to me fully released shoulder tension and related hip tension, which holds a lot of trauma.

From a shamanic perspective, it represents to me fully unfurled wings of the Dragon-Angel, releasing upwards from the base of the spine out into the hands, able to channel energies from the spinal base for greater upliftment.

This also presents a direction for resolving the common stumbling block of scientification of spiritual work. How can we measure spiritual progress in a manner that it is independently materially verifiable? Just look at how strong and released the body is!

This theme of strong body for a strong mind is repeated in other related myths.

Like the myth of the irascible Buddhist monk, Kalaripayattu martial artist from South India – Bodhidharma – who went to China to teach the monks meditation, took one look at their bodies and went – "Your bodies are fucking shit, how the fuck are you gonna meditate with shit bodies like yours? Start martial arts practice stat" (yes, these are the exact words he used).

Thus was born the Shaolin Kung-Fu tradition.

I find it of value to represent historical, mythical stories of accomplished spiritual practitioners using language of the modern era. Otherwise, we live under the false subconscious assumption that great spiritual accomplishment was possible in the past and no longer is that the case. For example, I've noticed a subtle underlying assumption amongst mainstream modern Buddhist practitioners that Enlightenment needs multiple lives and that it won't be possible in this life; not realizing the fallacy in that conclusion. Yes, Enlightenment needs multiple lives but what if you've already lived all those multiple lives already and this is the life you are meant to get Enlightened? I think the right assumption one should live with is that Enlightenment is possible any instant and that it literally takes an instant to reach it. Whatever the fuck it means to "reach it", which I might unpack in another post. Side note – there was a third Śramaṇa tradition – Ajivika – which believed that pursuing Enlightenment (i.e. escape from life/death cycle) was a silly way of looking at spiritual work. Speak about the wide range of independent spiritual thought in 500 BCE India – so rich!

So the best term from modern day parlance to describe the Buddha is… *drumroll*

A nomadic fitness influencer

That's what he was. He was nomadic, he focussed on physical and spiritual fitness, was clearly ripped as fuck and he influenced others to live fitter lives.

The Buddha was your OG Nomadic Fitness Influencer, posting selfies of a six pack with a calm smile on ancient IG.

This relationship between physical and mental fitness is unfortunately lost on so many thinkers and intellectuals. Today and in ancient times.

Thankfully there are a few exceptions like the deadlift–obsessed Nassim Taleb and Socrates.

If there’s one take away that you take from this post, is to stop listening to spiritual gurus with shit, crooked bodies. What’s the point of trying to release spiritual suffering if doesn’t help you release suffering in your physical body?