I was recently in conversation with a woman who, like me, has walked the neo-tantric/shamanic path in the past. She shared that her current partner has asked for monogamous commitment. And what struck me was how much I respected that request—not as a demand for exclusivity, but as a deeply embodied expression of masculine integrity.

Truth Revealed in the Body

Over time, I’ve come to believe that truly healing spiritual work must reveal itself in the body. If it doesn’t live in the body, it hasn’t rooted in truth.

And there’s something so basic, almost absurdly obvious, that keeps coming to me: a cock can only enter one pussy at a time. By design—whether you credit God or evolution—it’s a directional, singular force. That’s not just anatomy. That’s wisdom.

Polyamory and the Energetics of Receptivity

As I’ve sat with this more, I’ve realized that the movement toward polyamory often seems to be more energetically driven by women. At a purely physical level, a pussy can receive multiple cocks. It is, in a sense, made for multiplicity. And if a woman is doing deep yoni work—clearing, softening, opening—she may actually feel an expanded capacity to be entered by multiple threads of connection, multiple energetic frequencies, multiple men. That exploration can feel like receptivity. Like power.

But here’s the provocation I offer: when a cock is big enough—again, not just physically, but energetically—to fully meet and fill a woman, she doesn’t need more. Not because of scarcity or control, but because fullness is satisfying. It’s devotional. It quiets the seeking. I suspect that many women who feel filled by their man, both sexually and energetically, do not feel drawn to polyamory. Their bodies speak monogamy, even when their minds are open.

The Leaky Cock

And on the flip side—what I often see in men who champion polyamory is a kind of energetic leakiness. A spraying of seed without center. Many of these men, in my experience, carry an unhealed relationship with porn. And I don’t say that as a moral judgment—I say it because porn might be the deepest deception of all. It tricks us into connection with an image. A woman who isn’t really there. A fantasy who exists only to gratify. And in that process, we start to treat our cock as an object too—something detached, something to extract pleasure from.

But the cock isn’t separate. It’s the natural extension of the spine. As humans evolved, we lost our tails. But we didn’t lose that energy—we redirected it forward. A man’s erect cock is what his tail once was: the arrow of his spinal current. To truly fuck from that place—from the base of the spine all the way up to the crown—is to make love with the full verticality of your being.

The more we use our cock like an orphaned tool—jerking off to pixels, paying OnlyFans models to pretend they care—the farther we drift from this truth. The more we sever sex from spine, the more we become ghosts in our own bodies.

The Historical Mirror

And there’s a historical mirror to this. Long before modern polyamory or women’s liberation, many powerful men took multiple wives. In some cases, they may have genuinely had the capacity to hold multiple feminine energies—spiritually, emotionally, logistically. But I also think there’s something else going on. Something unresolved. Something that looks like mastery on the outside but reveals a deeper fracture underneath.

Two men who come to mind are Prophet Muhammad and Joseph Smith. Both were spiritual leaders, revered in their time, and both practiced forms of plural marriage. But there’s something deeply unsettling about a man preaching divinity with his cock stuck in a 9 year old. Or a 14 year old. To me, this reveals an important distinction: you can be spiritually gifted, even magnetic, and still be ruled by unintegrated lust.

When lust isn’t met with consciousness, it becomes a hole in the lower chakras—a leak in the system. That hole can serve as an entry point for disembodied spirit beings who ride the intoxication of lust to feed off a man’s life force. There’s something almost vampiric about it. And maybe that’s why "garlicky" breath can kill the mood—not just socially, but spiritually. Garlic repels, and perhaps it repels more than just people. To conquer lust doesn’t mean rejecting sex; it means reclaiming authorship of your arousal. It means choosing from your spine rather than being chosen by your craving.

I want to be clear: this isn’t about shaming eroticism. I revere sex as sacred. But lust without agency isn’t freedom. It’s just possession by another name. And I find myself asking: is it possible to fully conquer lust and still be drawn to multiple women? Not from hunger, or emptiness, or ego—but from a conscious, rooted yes? I don't claim to know. But I do know this: when lust is unexamined, it often isn’t you making the choice. Something else is driving the wheel.

Fucking with the Full Spine

So for me, monogamy isn’t just a relational choice. It’s an energetic one. It’s the choice to root deeply. To channel fully. To meet one woman, completely. To let the spine fuck.

In order for the spine to fuck, all aspects of the spine–all the chakras–need to be a yes. My mind–do we have a future together? My throat–do I enjoy conversing and feel safe in conversation? My heart–do I feel softened in the presence of her? My solar plexus–do I trust myself in her presence, or do I find myself shrinking, posturing, or seeking validation? My genitals–do I feel enlivened, magnetized, deeply drawn in the way that doesn't just want to fuck but to worship? My root–do I feel safe? Is there a ground of belonging I touch when I imagine us in everyday life, in stress, in silence? Is there steadiness there?

In the journey of finding that full spine alignment, I wonder if it’s possible to come into that clarity without fucking around. And how much does casual sex, especially when driven by lust, actually obscure your ability to choose clearly? There’s a haze that lust throws over the field of vision—it excites, but it also deceives. To conquer lust, in this sense, is to stay rooted in your clarity even when arousal is present. It’s to remain sovereign in the face of seduction—not as resistance to pleasure, but as refusal to be hijacked by it.

If you’ve been on this path—whether through tantra, embodiment, or just raw, lived experience—I’m curious if you resonate with what I’ve shared. And I’m open, too, to alternate provocations. What have you discovered in your own body about sex, spirit, and commitment?